"Changing how you think"
"Changing how you behave"
"Changing how you feel"
"PROVIDING HIGH STANDARDS OF COGNITIVE BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY, CBT COUNSELLING IN BELFAST, N.IRELAND"
“ He is a man who is impossible to please because he is never pleased with himself” Goethe
The perfectionist is a person who has to get everything just right- someone who has excessively high standards and these standards are unrelenting.
The main feature associated with perfectionism is a feeling of pressure. It is difficult to relax and enjoy life, the person is pushing to do better and is driven at times to the point of obsession.
There is a never enough quality about perfectionism and no matter how well things are done, its never good enough. Perfectionism has been described as an “illusion which never can be obtained“. There is a sense of setting oneself up to f ail, where standards are so high that it is inevitable that you can neither reach them nor maintain them. So, a sense of failure is a common feeling associated with perfectionism and my lead to work related stress, “burnout” and depression.
There are usually two common childhood origins of perfectionism. In the first, perfectionism was modelled off one or both parents who were themselves perfectionists. The second origin would be an overly critical parent who criticized the child when they didn’t meet the parents high expectations.
The costs of perfectionism can be high in terms of health, relationships, personal fulfilment and happiness.
Health problems can be a regular feature of perfectionism, where the person continually drives themselves to the point where their bodies object to the strain being imposed, initial warning signs may be, irritable bowel, headaches, high blood pressure, stomach ulcers, colitis, insomnia, fatigue, panic attacks, skin problems or asthma. Sometimes if early warning signs go unheeded then more serious illness may follow, for instance, depression, heart problems.
Perfectionism can have a high cost in terms of relationships as well. The perfectionist can become so driven that its as if they cant see anything in life except the standards or goals they are trying to attain. Its as if they have blinkers on and they don’t see their spouse, partner or children who may largely feel neglected and ignored. When the family protest and try to slow him/her down they may get irritable, angry, and frustrated.
In terms of personal fulfilment their lifestyle may be out of balance. No time to relax, no time to enjoy hobbies, no time for relationships. It may seem that the fun has gone out of life. Life seems to be more about success, status, and material rewards. In a sense, they have lost touch with their true selves and their deeper needs, they may no longer know what makes them happy.
Overcoming Perfectionism.How to break the vicious circle of 'never good enough'. Perfectionism can be healthy but when it becomes unhealthy and turns into 'clinical perfectionism' (sometimes referred to as 'dysfunctional perfectionism') it can cause serious problems. It is associated with different mental health problems, including depression, anxiety, eating disorders and chronic fatigue syndrome. Those suffering from clinical perfectionism tend to judge themselves predominantly in terms of the pursuit and attainment of personally demanding standards and often feel unable to be flexible and change their goals, despite the significant negative impact that the pursuit of perfectionism may have on their quality of life. This title covers such topics as: description of clinical perfectionism; clinical perfectionism and depression, anxiety, eating disorders, chronic fatigue; identifying the problem and monitoring; overcoming perfectionism; step-by-step self-help course based on CBT principles; avoiding relapse; case studies; other treatments; and, an overview.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: Your Route Out of Perfectionism, Self-sabotage and Other Everyday Habits
What happens to you in life matters less than the way you feel about life: that′s the message of cognitive behavioural therapy. If you′ve ever tried to change something about yourself – your mood, your weight, your behaviour – you′ll have noticed that change often hurts, so you stop trying. CBT can help you when change starts to hurt.
In this book, professional CBT practitioner Avy Joseph shows you how to challenge negative thoughts and unhealthy beliefs to improve your outlook in your personal and professional life. Whether you want to break the spiral of depression, anxiety or guilt, achieve work–life balance or make an important change, this book will help you reach your goals and maintain a positive outlook – no matter what life throws at you.
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